Louis turns one... nausea... back to work...

Hurrah for instant news!!
Louis' 1st Birthday is almost ancient history now. Our halloween baby chalked up his first year in typically relaxed fashion. He now bum-shuffles in circles as if nailed to the spot, which OF COURSE he isn't.

My "good" days are starting to out-number the ones where i feel nauseous. I'm really grateful for this. My next and final meeting with the consultant is on the 26th and i hope he'll be encouraged by my progress. It will seem strange to move off his current case-load. Does this mean i'm in remission or is it the all-clear?? We'll see.
Anyway, as far as the nausea is concerned, i'm hoping that as my gut fine-tunes itself further, it will give me a bit more slack regarding when and what i eat. At the moment, i try to stick to my 7am - 10 - 1 - 4- 7pm (i'm down to 5 meals a day!) mealtimes to avoid "going off" as i tend to describe it. Otherwise its onwards and upwards!

And as of this week, i'm phasing myself back into the office. At present, i'm doing the equivalent of 3 mornings, but it'll take a while to build up the reserves required to tackle a whole week at work.

Sitting at my desk again after 6 months is as surreal as... anything.

Where does he get his energy from??

A phase that has lasted slightly longer than we would have imagined or wished, is Max's tendency to remove his trousers, as well as socks and shoes when he is playing.
It is a clear sign that he is "at home" whenever he gets the urge. But it can sometimes lead to awkward moments for us, in gauging the appropriateness of the urge with the place where the urge presents... if you get my meaning.

So should it be an issue, that my 3-and-a-bit year old wants to undress in shops, cafes, at church, in the park, toddler groups, friend's houses? Probably not. But it keeps my parental "conversative-ometer" fresh and well oiled.

At home, its fine, no problem. See below for details..

Three cheers for slow progress!!

Apart from being edible, the following pictures are suggestive of Louis' most effortless, but greatest accomplishment...





Staying rooted to the spot!!

While some of his friends incl. Sebastian and Mia are crawling/stumbling all over the place, right now Louis stays where you put him, for ages...

He's a gorgeous boy and we obviously wish him every success with his future mobility. But at the moment, with Max supplying energy to the National Grid, we're happy for a few more weeks of Louis "sit-ins".

Updates - Darren

The latest news is that Darren's bone marrow transplant has been delayed until the end of November. Its slightly confusing as to why this is happening, but hopefully the next appointment on Wednesday in Bristol will clear things up.
In the meantime, he is living in the church's flat, while going to the hospital for daily check-ups, blood tests etc and is being well looked after by a committed posse of members from the church.

The flat (unfurnished just before he arrived) has now been filled with furniture including bed, 2 sofas, tv, microwave, tables.. the church's response to his need has been totally amazing.
Understandably, his biggest ongoing worry is his health and the spectre of the oncoming transplant. This costs him a lot of emotional energy and sleep.

We don't see eachother as often as (perhaps) we should. And when we do spend time together, its difficult to raise his sights above these immediate things.
Hardly surprising i know, but its often when we look to the small things that are going ok - things where we can clearly see God at work - that we gain the courage to believe that He (God) is somehow in control of everything else, however hard that is to imagine.
The next few months are going to be very tough for Darren. His prognosis is not amazingly good and he has a lot of personal challenges to face, so he needs all the prayer support that we can possibly manage.

Updates - Family

Claudia
If a candle had 4 ends to burn...
On top of everything she does at home and now at work, Claudia is revising for a GP exam on the 28th. Most of her evenings are spent on the computer answering multiple-choice test questions. If you chance to involve her in conversation in the next 2 weeks, she's likely to offer you 1 of 5 opinions: a, b, c, d or e.

Max
Who has entered the "why" phase in the last week, with a vengeance!
Today we got to 4 generations of "why" on the subject of washing hands after using the toilet, before my patience wore out.

Louis
While his contemporaries are busy testing out their baby-walkers, rolling around or crawling, Louis is still happiest whilst sitting on his Pringle rug with a selection of much-loved, dribbled-on toys. His calm is a welcome contrast to his brother's energy.

Updates - Dad

The ultimate diagnosis reached by the specialists was not lymphoma, but a form of leukaemia (also a blood cancer) known as CLL. After undergoing CT, MRI scans and blood tests... and quite a long wait for the results, the leukaemia cells have only been detected in his salivary glands and are not more widespread as feared.
This is a positive finding which means that his treatment will involve radiotherapy alone and not chemotherapy. He is meeting the radiology consultant tomorrow and will receive 2 lots of radiotherapy treatment next week.

I never "felt" pain from my tumor like he has. But he is a brave man and is dealing resolutely with the chronic discomfort in his mouth.

I still find his diagnosis so hard to believe. Nevertheless, i only hope that i can be there for him as much as he and mum have been there for me.

Another milestone: 1st Indian take-away..

Mmmm (become a blog follower and take advantage of Google's new "smello-vision"(TM) feature!)

Dhansak is a delicious Indian dish of lentils, vegetables, ginger, cumin etc - which, coming our favourite restaurant down the road, differs in spicy-hotness depending on which bag of chillies they happen to be using.

We had an incredibly hot prawn dhansak on the night that Max entered the world. Could the restaurant have been responsible for his induction? If so, Jaflong might have been a choice of middle name instead of Nathanael. I digress...

So it was with more than a little caution that i ordered again last night, knowing full well that my nostalgia could be rewarded with a dash upstairs. Claudia's first week of work at the practise had been overcome, as had my first day looking after the boys - although Max had been spirited away for much of the day by compassionate friends. We, bedraggled parents, deserved a treat!!

Hot though it was, the evening's delicious meal of chicken dhansak, sag aloo, pilau and a peshawari nan ended without a major incident (i had to lie down for a while afterwards, but i blamed the nan bread for that). That's kind-of another recovery milestone - WE DO TAKE-AWAYS.. 40% cheaper too! due to my reduced appetite.

Same, same and ever so slightly different

Its like taking a train journey from the mountains to the desert. The transition between the two terrains is excitingly different as all the changes come thick and fast. And then its just sand and more sand, in every direction, for days.

I do recognise that my recovery, like the train (in this PROFOUND analogy), is moving forward. My posture is improving, i'm just about off the pain killers, i can walk much greater distances etc.
But its oh so frustratingly slow. Today is below average in terms of nausea, vomiting and fatigue.

However, this week has had its own different milestones. Claudia's extended maternity leave ended this week. She is back to 3 days a week at her GP practise. The fact that she has had so much time for the children throughout my entire treatment has been a huge blessing. Louis is now going with Max to nursery for 2 days each week and in due course i will be looking after the boys on Fridays as my strength improves.

Low blood-sugar moments

I was somewhat unnerved by Max this morning. As I was preparing my 7am bowl of muesli, he walked into the kitchen and with an earnest expression said “Speak out!”. It was quite perplexing. I just looked at him and he repeated himself at least 3 times again “Speak out!.. Speak out!.. Speak out!”.
I suddenly had a weird early-morning thought that maybe it was the Lord, communicating with me in some biblical way, about something he was calling me to do.

As weird as the thought had been, was the urge to say “Speak Lord for your servant is listening” (as in 1 Samuel 9 & 10). But before my thoughts could run away further with me, he continued… “Spreak out!, Spreak out!”, while pointing to the lounge.

And then at last the penny dropped. It’s that special moment when your mind stumbles across the key, that unlocks the translation to the desperate cryptic babble of your own child. Far from being an almighty commission, Max wanted a pre-breakfast bop to “Freak out!” by Chic. A 1978 funky classic – click to hear – a positive sign that a funky foundation is being laid down in the psyche of my gorgeous toddler.

Apart from this attack of “low blood sugar-madness”, I’m actually doing ok.
My weight is still stable at around 72kg. And if I get enough sleep, take my tablets and avoid overly sweet or acidic food/drinks, I seem to suffer less nausea spells. That’s how far the trial and error has got me!

The Wedding

...and what an amazing day it was! Insa and Andre got married in Bielefeld's Radrennbahn, a slightly dilapidated, but no less impressive motorbike racing track built in the 1950s. At its centre is a field of sumptious grass used by a local american football team. A very unusual place for a wedding by german standards and the local press were there to witness it. Insa and Andre had exchanged vows at the registry office (the legal part) on the Thursday before the wedding. But it was also important to Insa to make their promises before God. So she twisted the arm of a pastor she knew and of the manager of the Radrennbahn and hey presto... a quirky wedding concept was born. It suited the happy couple down to the ground. Insa and Andre met in the creative world of theatre set production. As artisans, they are alternative in many ways (wardrobe, interests, political views etc) and the wedding was a fantastic expression of this. Insa wore a 1920's style dress and hairstyle, Andre wore a hand-stitched suit and trilby. But it was the manner of their "entrance" and the procession that followed, that took the biscuit (it is a german tradition for the bride and groom to enter the church together). Think James Bond, The Spy who loved me, and the scene when the Lotus emerges from the sea, and you've got it. The following 2 minute clip should give you an idea.

It was a very moving service. Claudia played keyboard as part of the music group. The pastor led with great sensitivity and spoke straight-forwardly of God's love, spoke of the joys of marriage and didn't shy away from mentioning the tougher times. Max loved the track and took to exploring it at regular intervals throughout the service. Louis schmoozed with one of the other babies present and ate grass. For me, everthing went swimmingly until the reception, when i had to lie down (with nausea) for most of the meal and went to bed early with the boys, missing the party afterwards. It was a bit of a blow to an otherwise glorious day.