One year on

The new me is 1 today!

My 365th day without cancer started with the lovely Claudia bringing me a cup of tea in bed, a card and a present
(2hrs + pamper session at Bath's Thermae Spa!!).
Like the queen, i now have 2 birthdays - the original Pete and the new one.

It may seem a little strange, seeing things from this perspective, but on this day a year ago my whole "being" went through the most collosal change.
Its a threshold that quite simply determines everything in my life as either pre- or post-surgery.

The experience has been totally horrific and yet life-saving - utterly bewildering and yet packed with the deepest meaning - depressing but also filled with a hope for the future. A future with my gorgeous wife and children. I'd merely looked forward to it before all this. The new me desperately aches and yearns for it. Its such a precious thing.

Speaking of aches. I've had terrible stomach aches over the last week. Whether this is a grumbling tummy bug, dumping from eating the wrong things or constipation from becoming dehydrated in this warm weather, i'm not sure. I don't think anything sinister is going on though.

A little bit of CBT will do nicely...

The weight-loss thing was most probably a red herring. I saw my consultant last week (not his registrar, which was nice). He seemed confident that a CT scan at this stage wasn't necessary. From now on i will be seeing him every 6 months, with Nurse Jo calling me inbetween to make sure things are ok. These guys focus on the physical me. The emotional me bumbles on with its ups and downs.

A Psychological therapist rang me 10 days ago for a telephone assessment of my emotional well-being. I then received a copy of her letter to my GP, to learn that my PHQ-9, GAD-7 and WSAS scores (17, 13 & 16) were concerning... hmm. The longhand for these obscure alphanumeric formulas is "moderately severe level of depression", "moderate level of anxiety" and "significant impact on overall functioning".

Do i recognise myself here? On a good day, no. But there are days when the clouds roll in, and my GAD-7 and WSAS-ness take a real bashing. So i've been refered for a 6 week course of CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy)

This will run from the end of July to early September. The NHS offers CBT in different formats. Working through an online program, group course work or 1 to 1 sessions. As the latter has a very long waiting list, i'll be dunking rich tea biscuits and learning coping mechanisms, on Monday nights, with some of Bath's other alphanumeric champions... Scintillating updates will follow!