Heavy thoughts

It seems that only now, some of the bigger thought-provoking issues are converging on my already crowded mind. Things like:
What its been like to have had cancer.
How close i might have been to an in-operable stage.
How much my life will be/should be impacted by the last year's illness and treatment.

Although these themes seem quite obvious and may have surfaced in some way in past posts, most of my mind's energy in the last year has been focused on beating the cancer and securing the best recovery. It seems the time for philosophical reflection, for delving deeper, is upon me. And it makes me a little nervous.

Where will it lead? If my conclusions demand a change in course (ie: work or other commitments) will i be strong enough to take the plunge?

One thing's for certain. I can't do nothing about the buzzing thoughts in my head.