As my recovery plods on - a lot slower than i'd imagined and hoped for - getting used to my new anatomy has been quite a challenge. Take swallowing.
To begin with it was a very strange thing, knowing that the destination of my swallows (my svelte new stomach) was just below the level of my collar bone. There would be these strange gurgling noises. It was a bit un-nerving. Now, as i'm starting to eat more and more, the feeling of swallowing is not so unusual anymore, but the psychology of it is playing a more un-nerving role... hmm.
The average person walking down the street will take in other people's appearances, their faces, what they wear, hair colour etc.
I, on the other hand, can "see" stomachs. Don't get me wrong, i don't think i'm sectionable - yet, but in my mind's eye, i can visualise the position of people's healthy stomachs as they go about their business. It happens on occasion, but quite involuntarily. I can even be watching a film and find myself analysing the actors.
Why do i do it? Perhaps i have a minority complex. Perhaps its part of a strange grieving process for the old "me". Perhaps i'm bonkers.
I still find it awesome that nearly 4 weeks ago, surgeons with the skills to join the stump of my old oesophagus, with the stitched up remains of my stomach, have enabled me to carry on swallowing in a way that feels close to normal.
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I'm sorry but your blog made me laugh. I know you are having a hard time but you have a lovely sense of humour. I can't imagine the trauma you have been through but to loose a bit of stimach and to retain a sense of humour must be a good trade off.
ReplyDeleteI continue to keep you in my prayers and thank you for your updates.
Ah, that is wierd. Well, not sure what to say but there you go I guess.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, we're still here for you. Ah... one of these days I'm going to make a real Italian hot pasta dish with pork in it... hopefully you can eat that some day :-)
P.S. I remember that week in Lee Abbey.... wow 16yrs ago?
Joe (&Suzie)
Dear Pete and Claudia,
ReplyDeleteWe've been away these last three weeks and computerless. I've read with amazement what you've had to go through during that time - I can't begin to imagine how hard it must have been. Well done, well done for coming as far as you have. I'm sooo pleased and relieved to hear the surgeons caught all the cancer and that you are on the road to recovery. Well done! I pray God gives you all the strength you need for tomorrow and the day after that.
xxx Anna and Pete
Pete & Claudia
ReplyDeleteSo pleased to hear that things are finally starting to improve and that you are slowly on the path to recovery and normality. Its so humbling to read through your posts, it does put life's petty frustrations into context.
We'd love to catch up when you have the energy to see visitors.
All the best
Howard, Marianne and Eliana