its more mental now

As fickle as my body can be...
(eg) Yoghurt on Monday: fine - Yoghurt on Tuesday: stomach cramps,
i'm feeling as if the physical side of me is making really good progress.

re: eating - I can generally predict how things will fare after eating most things, and have developed a particularly healthy taste for crisps, chocolate and beer. But coffee? Still off limits.

My posture is improving well according to my physiotherapist, Andy, who doesn't want to see me anymore(!)... and my core strength is also much better according to Susie, my pilates instructor. Its funny how the simplest of slow, seemingly meaningless repeated exercises suddenly make you stand much taller.

Its the mental side of things that i'm finding harder at the moment. On the outside i'm looking more and more normal/stronger. On the inside (in my head) there's a long way to go. Getting used to the pattern of 3 mornings a week at work is one thing. But having to make decisions, trying to think creatively, remembering how everything works - where everything goes, that is proving quite tricky. I can't concentrate like i used to. I feel for my colleague Joachim, who is delighted to have me back. But i'm only firing on 1 cylinder at the moment, which isn't the most use.

My "working brief" is to take things sloooowly, celebrate the little victories as they happen and not expect too much more. Its becoming an act of will to resist the various pressures and expectations of "normal life" that are starting to emerge around me.